A Little Light

     This will be a real musing post, because the thoughts I want to put down came from my musings the other day.
     I have often read and wondered what was meant when Peter told Simon the socerer that he had the root of bitterness in him. This is what the scripture says in Acts 8:21-24(amp) (after Simon asked to buy the ability to lay hands on people to receive the power of the Holy Spirit):
    

²¹You have neither part nor lot in this matter, for your heart is all wrong in God's sight [it is not straightforward or right or true before God].

²²So repent of this depravity and wickedness of yours and pray to the Lord that, if possible, this ^[a]contriving thought and purpose of your heart may be removed and disregarded and forgiven you.

²³For I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in a bond forged by iniquity [to fetter souls].

²⁴And Simon answered, Pray for me [beseech the Lord, both of you], that nothing of what you have said may befall me!

      Wow! I would hate for an apostle (or pastor) tell me I was in the gall of bitterness. But for years that terminology didn't mean anything to me.

    For one thing, it seems a little redundant. Gall is bitter, and bitterness is bitter, sharp, causing pain, grief or misery. And how do you get into a gall?

   Well, the other day I was mulling this over after I had read it in the Bible again, and what came to me was that the "gall of bitterness" could be in ME. And I sensed that perhaps it was in me, because I was entertaining some resentment in my flesh. And I saw quite clearly that this is what Peter was talking about, or at least  what the Lord gleaned out of that passage for me.

     There are times that I let my feelings get hurt, then that little (or big) hurt sits inside my heart and festers. Then I get my feelings hurt again and it adds to that first hurt. One of the meanings of gall is to make sore by rubbing. It can be a small irrritation from someone, but it sits inside and rubs just a little. And then another galling or irritating remark is made, and that sits in there and rubs.

     Pretty soon I have this ugly festering feeling inside that my flesh wants to rub and justify and get revenge for. I feel that all the hurt gives me the "right" to hold this gall against whoever has hurt me.

     Then the scripture from the "love" chapter: :

"It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and  does not act unbecomingly, Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self seeking' it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]."

I Corinthians 13:5 [Amp]

     Argh! Straight to my fleshly heart. Oh, how I want to get even in my flesh, yet here is the Spirit inside of me saying - " You need to let that one go. It's causing a whole bunch of bitterness and gall to grow within your heart and it's trying to crowd all the love, patience, kindness, gentleness, long suffering, joy, peace, goodness,and self control out of your heart where I have put it. Let this hurt go and let God handle it!"

     Conviction! So I go to God and ask for forgiveness for letting the flesh take over (again) and letting that bitterness and resentment grow. And whallla! It's gone. Just like that.

     Why, oh why do I hang on to these little hurts and let my soul scream about "MY" rights? Thank God that when we confess our sins "He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse me of all that unrighteousness." (I John 1:9)

     And now I shall refrain from kicking myself around the block because it took me all these years to figure this out. I will glory in the forgiveness and love that my Heavenly Father gives so freely and go on from here. And pray that my confession and prayer for forgiveness won't be so hard to get to when the next hurt comes, as it will because we live in a fallen world. Thank God for a way out of this mess!

     Hallelujah!!